Saturday, 17 May 2014

Sister of the Bride!

My sister finally got hitched. I know its been 6 months to the fact thank you very much, but that's how long it got me to get over the fatigue that set in during the week before her wedding. Admittedly the fact that I was in a hospital bed 2 weeks before her wedding with Dengue didn't help matters. However, I'm not quite sure if it was the Dengue or the actual wedding that tired me such.

So its been 5 months since I published a Blogpost. Published because I have half written 3 Blogposts that I just can't seem to get there. So I abandoned all hopes of ever publishing an intellectual, thought provoking post and decided to talk about the event that traumatized me so much I might never get married now! There were times during the actual wedding proceedings that I kept glancing at my short on patience brother in law half expecting him to leave in exasperation.  

The wedding itself was traditional and beautiful (I think), but the only thing I clearly remember is my sigh of relief at the prospect of it almost being over. So If you haven't had the pleasure of attending an indian wedding thus far, let me entertain you. The actual wedding can take anywhere between 30 minutes to 4 hours (depending on which part of India you live in), however the pre and post rituals can take anywhere between 3 to 5 days. 

From The Mehndi
To the Batna (turmeric Paste)
To me getting Turmeric Paste on me for no reason at all
To the Chura (The Bright Red Bangles)
To the Kaleeren
To the Photography

To the getting ready

To the getting Marired!
To the Reception

The Bride! :)

To even more Photos!
The wedding was like a massive project in itself and it took longer to organize and endure than any other event I have ever organized for work. Imagine 500+ people, of which 200 are relatives, 100 are friends, and the rest are people who called you on their kids weddings so you have to return the favour, even though you don't even know them all that much. Plus loud music and lots of food. All in all it looks exactly like a scene out of  'Kal Ho Na Ho' including the family drama. Between keeping the family happy and running around arranging stuff I literally did not have time to put on nail paint. #TrueStory.

In the end the actual wedding was beautiful and more importantly I had a lot of fun. Having said that, at such crucial events in our lives, we sometimes forget to look at the bigger picture. We forget that we are not just celebrating  an event, but the intertwining of two lives forevermore. When all the food has been eaten, all the fun has been had and all the cold drink (damn traditions!) have been drunk, what remains is two people trying to bond over their similarities and adjust with each others personalities, and so knowing my sister and jiju all I want to say is Good Luck! Please try to make it work for at least a decade the photographer cost entirely too much! 

In the end all I want to say is thank you Hansu for the beautiful choreography. Thank you Ragini for the beautiful photos, and thank you Neal for memories that will last a lifetime. (If you are looking for a great wedding photographer, he's got my vote!)

Baji, jiju I'm going to repeat this for the umpteenth time, please look back at these pictures and words and remember the love you have for each other today, and no matter what life throws at you remember where home is... with each other. 

Congrats! I wish you a lifetime worth of happiness and loads of  kids I can spoil!

Thanks for the pleasure of being the 'Sister of the Bride!'

Friday, 13 December 2013

Tell YOUR God, I Forgive Him

2009 is better known as the year Swine Flu first made an appearance on the global scene, or the year when the world lost its first ever Pop Icon - Micheal Jackson or the year an African-American man took office in what was previously the most conservative quasi-democracy. However in the capital of the world's biggest democracy, a small group of young men and women were rejoicing a Delhi High Court ruling.

The Delhi High Court ruled, that a 19th-century provision in the nation's penal code, that effectively banned gay sex, shouldn't apply to consensual acts. In effect it gave the green light to gay couples in capital by decriminalizing gay sex. LGBT supporters (myself included) the world over rejoiced as the movement for Gay Rights saw its first high in India.

On Wednesday all this changed. India - the world's biggest democracy - suffered a 150 year old setback. The supreme court of India, the apex judicial body, overturned the ruling, and as I sat here a heterosexual person whose life isn't all that affected directly I thought, does it even really matter?  What can I, one little person, the proverbial David against this big bad Goliath, do? Take to the streets and protest? Scream bloody murder to everyone I meet till I reach out to everyone I know? Write a blogpost? How would any of this REALLY make any difference?

I've already written a post before this expressing my stand on the matter. So should I dedicate a few tweets, maybe a Facebook status to the matter and forget about it? No. The day I stop speaking up against injustice is the day I condone it. The day I stop caring about the love, life and dignity of others is the day I stop being a human.

I read somewhere: 'Homosexuality is found in over 450 species. Homophobia is found in only one' whether I chose to lie with a woman or a man, let it be MY choice. Whether I chose to make my body the citadel of life or not, let it be MY choice. Let me show you the blueprint from which we were made, you and me both, so that you can realize we are all the same.

They say heavens gates were built to keep me out
That God's word
forces secrets into my back pockets
Leviticus 18:22 and men I cannot call my lovers
For it would mean that I am unholy

That I'll end up in October crucifixion 
A rusted fence of sin
They say that God can soundproof his ears to fags
that he never meant to create 
They say that God has abandoned me

Tell your God that I mention him in my prayers
tell him I miss him 
that I know its not his fault
It's just that he hung out with people like you for far too long
Tell him I carry the faith of a Gospel choir inside my chest
Tell him I haven't turned my prayers into chalk lines
Tell YOUR God, that he is MY God too
That I want him back

Tell him to show you my Blueprint
How he created us both
Tell him to remind you
That I am beautiful too
Tell him I've read the bible
I know of love
It is diverse, thousands of flowers
I've seen it in the shape of an orchid blooming inside my chest
Until the day it way ready to come out

Tell your God he did something Right
I grew up to be a lover
Tell your God
I've seen him officiate more weddings than funerals
Tell him we are all imperfect
And thank him for it
Tell him he's a great father
Even in absence
That his children feel safe in his arms
That the Sun rises for him
That I can feel his warmth on my back
Tell him
I don't believe the Rumors

Tell YOUR God
I Forgive Him.

Credit: BNV 2013 - Denver

Source: Google Images

Friday, 27 September 2013

10 Reasons I Can't Get Married

If you are an Indian girl of marriageable age (anywhere between 18 to 30 - because of course after 30 only an ogre would marry you) you will understand the purpose of this post. I love my family (at most times) and despite their most decidedly all-up-in-my-business-attitude I've learned to overlook the annoying and embrace the awesome (because in their own way, each one of them is, without fail, awesome!).

Having said that, this post is my polite way of conveying to all of them, that I am currently NOT ready to give up all earthly desires and live a life of constant misery and oppression just yet. And don't worry, if don't heed the polite, remember I have a flair for the dramatic, I'm the family drama queen and black sheep all rolled into one!

But that doesn't take away from the parents, they are after all a few steps ahead. The result of this is, that in my family 'no' is Parent Patented. What do I mean by that? Follow the conversation below:

Me: Mum can I go out for a party at my friends.
Mum: No
Me: Mum can I go out for dinner with some friends from DPS?
Mum: No
Me: Mum can I...
Mum: No
Mum: are you ready to meet boys (because let's be real at 24 there aren't too many men around) to get married?
Me: ummm.. ahh.. the thing is... no.
Mum: Alright then be ready to go to the Gurudwara tomorrow to see a prospective groom.
Me: O_O (all bug eyed)

Having now ranted sufficiently enough. Welcome to my list of "10 Reasons I Can't Get Married". Please feel free to use any or all of these reasons on your own parents should they suit the circumstances, or if you need an excuse to get your parents to kick you out.

Number 1: I'm 24. If you don't get what I mean, read that again, I'M ONLY TWENTY-BLOODY-FOUR!!!! I am not nearly standing on the doors of Spinsterhood yet. Just because I love dogs, that does not mean, I'm going to end up happy and alone with 50 dogs, simply because I don't think I'm quite as lucky. So give me a couple of years, or a couple of couple of years, hell just give me a decade, and I promise I'll either find someone or get you to find me someone.

Number 2: I know you think the only thing I have going for me in life is that I'm young enough for someone to want to marry me, because of course my run of the mill mouth and scintillating good looks may have me on your hands from AD to ADD, but I have news for you, the gazillion of Rupees that you have been saving since the doctor said "Congrats it's ANOTHER Girl!" I'm sure will be enough to bribe some poor lost soul into spending his life with me. So there problem solved! People are bribable at all ages, and I promise next to the money nobody will care if I'm 24 or 42.

Number 3: I'm not mature enough to club the inner bitch from opening her mouth and saying something grossly inappropriate, just yet. So basically I will be a mother-in-laws worst nightmare, and I really won't wish someone with verbal diarrhea (Copyright PVN) on any poor mum-in-law.

Number 4: I'm still young enough to at the least kid myself into believing I can find a husband myself (although buying a new Toothbrush gives me nightmares-have you seen the variety out there??). The problem is my belief is like a little kids belief in Santa Claus, if you take it away too soon, you risk scarring me for life. So let's make a pact let me keep my belief and I'll forget all about that time in 4th grade, when you  made me spend an entire night in school for Christmas! (I don't care that it was a sleepover or that I begged you. I'm a communications person, and I'll spin it so hard, people will think you are worse than those parents from Criminal Minds who burnt their kids alive!)

Number 5: I am one of those very very VERY few Indian girls who doesn't know a spoon from a ladle and my culinary skills do not extend beyond making Maggi and Chai. Like if the fate of the world depended on my cooking skills, we'd all be being eaten by pigs right now. So if you can find a man who can live on Maggi and Chai, bring it on. Till death do us part indeed!

Number 6: I remember when the last Harry Potter Book came out, I spend 3 days and nights reading. I didn't sleep (yup me and my trusty flashlight came so close), I did not eat (which if you know me if a really big deal, I'm the kind of person whose eulogy will say "She spoke really fast and she loved Food"), I did not pay any attention in class, and I did absolutely nothing else. Nada. Zilch. Zip. Find me a man who is ok with me turning into a Zombie every time I open a new book and I'll consider it.

Number 7: I'm not prepared to accept defeat, no matter how much anybody denies it. Howard Roark is NOT just a fictional character, and I will not rest until I find him! Then I'll marry him, and we can be miserable together. P.S. if you don't know who Howard Roark is, I have six words for you, "I don't believe you! The Fountainhead".

Number 8: What if I marry Mr. Moderately-Right only for Mr. Right to show up? If you aren't ok with me having an extra marital affair you really should let me wait for him. For your sake and mine.

Number 9: This is not a game of bowling. Just because I'm the last pin left, doesn't mean its your moral duty to knock me down. Just because I'm the youngest and it's been a while that you had a party, doesn't -under any circumstances- mean that you have to sacrifice me at the alter of matrimony to do it. Hell let's throw a "The New Season of Glee is Starting" Bash! We can sing, we can dance, we can wear weird itchy outfits, I swear you wont even realize its not a wedding!

Number 10: Jokes apart, I want to very politely inform you that I am NOT ready to get married right now. I love you, and if you bring this up again, I'll sweety remind you that the average marriageable age in Japan is 35, and I will insist on finding myself a Japanese man. I love you and all, but who I choose to marry is my business. I promise to take your words of wisdom on board but at the end of the day, I am more than your child. I'm a thinking, opinionated, high functioning (ok moderately functioning) human being. The decision of who to spend my life with or without will be mine, I promise to make sure you are happy with the decision, but the decision, nonetheless, will be MINE.

Photo Credits: Alma Wedding Photography